College Story

While going through my audio journals, I realized a certain trend. I started off rather tame, talking about hanging out with my friends and going places to suddenly being completely enraptured by the difficulties of this class in particular. It has been hard for me to completely single out what it is about this class that was bothering me at first, but I feel as though through listening to these journals, I understand now. It feels like my writing, my passion, has taken a backseat in a major I’m taking that is supposed to be about English. I supposed I really only have myself to blame, since I didn’t obviously understand what it truly meant to “make a podcast”, but it has tarnished basically my whole vision for what the major was supposed to be about. I understand why we do this assignment, however, it is not for everyone, and I just so happen to be in that group of “not everyone”. It has nothing to do with the work of making it or recording it, it just is the complete opposite of what I’m good at. I want to improve my writing skills, I want be at a professional level so that I can feel comfortable finally publishing a book. But, as I also discovered in my audio journals, I still struggle with procrastination. No matter how far away I feel like I am from High-school, this one thing will forever keep bothering me. I’ve tried different techniques to try to break out of my procrastination, but to no avail. It is still something I must deal with, and it has become a hinderance on work I actually want to do. And now I have become worried, about what it might do to me later down the line. What if I need to do something for my job, but I procrastinate and get fired? I might need to seek some sort of professional help, perhaps a psychiatrist. I’ve also noticed from my audio journals that my passion for reading has only grown in the time from the beginning of college to now. Despite the fact the only real book I’ve read and analyzed is “The Swerve”, I’ve actually grown quite fond of Poggio’s strange adventure. The language I feel is still so overdone, but the reading of this book has basically changed me. Because of this book, I now truly understand my religious standing. That’s kind of crazy, I know, but while reading and researching for my 2-1-q, I found out about the Agnostic religious view, which I realized heavily resounds with me. I believe that for a book to have such an affect on someone is why I love them so much, and why I would rather write a few thousand words about books thousands of pages long, than make a podcast about myself. I do not believe myself to be interesting, but I believe my ideas and stories to be interesting.